Sunday, 22 January 2012
from the heart
currently alone in the house. well it's a first semester mid break, everyone is going back home, plus its a Chinese new year celebration. gong xi fa chai. heheheh. i'm use to staying alone in the house. there are some of the teacher who's not going back too.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
from the heart
if you saw this, most of my post were under the 'from the heart'. why is it like this? what really this heart want to do? i'm always that heartless person, and that is what i want to be, but i can't since it's not the real me. what should i do? being real is not my verb. i act about my life. its tiring. sometime i wonder why is it have to be this way, why i just can't be that person i know hidden, suppressed within this heartless body. what should i find in this life to fulfill life that seems to be out of my reach. my dreams, a broken dreams, a dream of near perfection that just too far, too hard to be reach. life is unsorted, as i try to sort it, it back to circle one. back to the beginning, or is it just unsortable. why i can't create my life like story that i read, dramas that i watch, where i know there will be happy ending for me. a long question, a question that i need to know what the answer is. but seems too messy, just too understandably, intangible... unattainable.
from the heart
life as we know is different but it might be the same too. what is it that playing in my mind? as i try to uncover it, i realize it that i know the answer for a long time. it is something that i always know and will always know. to hide it, i do anything in my power to suppressed it even to the level of destroying myself. it this is the sacrifice that i need to do, and i will always do it. locking my heart when it is begging to be unlock. huh.
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